“And now my heart stumbles on things I don’t know
My weakness I feel I must finally show

In these bodies we will live, in these bodies we will die
And where you invest your love, you invest your life.
” – Mumford and Sons, Awake My Soul

I first discovered Mumford and Sons when I lived in Washington. I tend to associate writing my thesis with sitting at Starbucks or D&M coffee and listening to Mumford and Sons (and Florence + the Machine and Laura Marling). Five years later I still love Awake My Soul by Mumford and Sons. Through all the ups and downs, the changes and growth, I always come back to this song. I love everything about it.

So when I went to this hot yoga class over the summer and the instructor ended the class with Awake My Soul it struck a cord within me. I walked out of that class with my body, mind and soul feeling nourished. This past year has been particularly difficult for me. There was a lot going on in all the different facets of my life and a lot of changes happening around me. I was out of sync and in need of something, but I didn’t know what. For me, leaving that yoga class was similar to my experience of going to church. Church usually leaves me feeling mentally nourished and stimulated. But for me, with yoga the experience is more complete. I’m challenged mentally and physically. I look inside myself to find strength and peace. I reflect on my place in the world and the life I lead and I set intentions for the class and the week ahead. I’m working on committing to going to Sunday morning hot yoga and making it my “church” time.

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Today’s class was particularly challenging. I really struggled to bring myself into the room. My balance was also way off. I had a hard time doing poses that usually cause me no problem. The more I stumbled in the poses, the more frustrated I got with myself. I kept telling myself that there’s no judgement in yoga. No judgement of myself and no judgement of others. It was then that I realized that my mind kept wandering to all sorts of stuff. I was mentally writing this post, thinking about the work I needed to do today, and reflecting on recent conversations with friends. Whenever my mind wandered, I struggled to hold the poses. In order to really hold my body in the poses I needed to be mentally in the room, not just physically.

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The class was also hard because it was the instructor’s last week. She’s moving to Denver. I really connect with her energy and the energy she creates in the room. She changed the way I look at yoga and how yoga factors into my life, so I’m going to miss her. I actually got a bit emotional at the end of the class, which really caught me off guard.

Looking back on the past week:

Wednesday Afternoon Adventure – #29
Onward, Ho! – My first accordion performance!

I haven’t been quite as productive as I would like and that’s causing me to be frustrated with myself. I need to work on putting aside judgement and just accepting what is and being okay with that.

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My NaNoWriMo writing keeps being shifted to the back burner and I end up too tired to do it at night or forgetting about it all together. So I’m continuing to work on that goal this week.

  • Goal – Write every day this week

I also need to refocus myself on my healthy eating habits and tracking my food through the Weight Watchers app. That priority has slipped a bit between meetings, holidays, and other stuff.

  • Goal – Track my food every day this week and avoid any sugary desserts or treats

In conjunction with the healthy eating, I did manage to work out several times this week but I would have liked to do more.

Monday – Swam 800y + treadmill
Friday – Swam 800y
Saturday – Went for a walk, 9k steps
Sunday – Hot yoga

I did write out my work out plan in my planner, so hopefully that will help me stay committed to the work out routine. The top is the goal for this upcoming week (well, Thursday-Sunday) and the bottom is what I did this past week (Thursday-Sunday).

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  • Goal – Stick to the proposed workout schedule that I’ve laid out. Only exception is taking one rest day in the middle of the week — Thursday?

To end this post, I want to end with the closing words that Charlsy uses at the end of her hot yoga class.

I may not be who I ought to be.
I know I’m not all that I want to be.
But I’ve come a long way from who I used to be.
And I won’t give up on becoming who I know I can be!

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